One of the largest secrets we try to keep is a sense of independence and pride. The idea or emotion that you are crucial in some special way, that you are cherished by a special person, that somebody is giving you unique attention, these are some of the ego’s very delicate secrets. We are striving to hide our Divine Self and are engaging in all these diverse games, which appear to be very disturbing. It is pretty depressing and it really doesn’t go anywhere, so we endeavor to get scraps of distinctive love, attention and recognition to prop ourselves up.
We work so hard at becoming “better people”, at acquiring greater intelligence and more skills. We want to be admired more and be more well-known. The entire self-help industry is focused on improving the self so you can become a better you. That is another trick we secretly engage on ourselves, thinking we have to keep turning our wheels trying to grow into better. This self-improvement game is another secret we can to learn to let go of. It is very calming when you start to grasp that you do not have to become any better than you currently are. You were formed perfect. It is not through self-improvement that you find peace but through self-acceptance.
As I worked with A Course in Miracles, I could notice that there was a dread of divine love in my mind. I recognized this was the ego’s apprehension of losing itself. The ego is afraid of being uncovered and being viewed as a puff of nothingness. That is the dread of intimacy. We talk about this dread in relationships, which is sometimes portrayed as fear of sexual intimacy, but it is really a terror of dropping our persona, our mask of distinctiveness. It is the terror of getting swept away by a magnificent love, a love so strong that none of us can even imagine something as glorious and mighty!
For me, those are the big secrets, because it doesn’t start off with this great consciousness. It always starts with feeling like you have done something inappropriate, whether you’ve masturbated, swiped something, mistreated someone, or there is something in your mind that you have deemed as so ghastly that you don’t even want to confront it, you just want to overlook about it and push it out of consciousness.
Beneath all those reminiscences and thoughts, is the belief that we are parted. This is the “secret” we hide. It really is an impossible belief, but we believe that it is true; We have deemed it as terrible and have pushed it out of notice. All unconscious guilt comes from this belief in division. And as you really provide yourself over to the miracle, you feel all those hidden beliefs and secrets are being washed away and you finally confront this hidden belief in separation!
Please, share any thoughts and remarks with me below, I’d adore to hear about your journey!
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