One of the of the biggest secrets we attempt to keep is a sense of independence and dignity. The notion or sensation that you are crucial in some unique way, that you are loved by a unique person, that someone is giving you unique attention, these are some of the ego’s very nuanced secrets. We are trying to hide our Heavenly Self and are partaking in all these different games, which look to be very disconcerting. It is pretty depressing and it really doesn’t go anywhere, so we try to get scraps of unique love, attention and acknowledgment to prop ourselves up.
We work so hard at becoming “improved people”, at gaining greater intelligence and more skills. We want to be admired more and be more popular. The entire self-help industry is focused on enhancing the self so you can become a better you. That is another trick we secretly engage on ourselves, thinking we have to keep turning our wheels trying to become better. This self-improvement game is another secret we can to learn to let go of. It is very calming when you start to grasp that you do not have to turn into any better than you currently are. You were created perfect. It is not through self-improvement that you find tranquility but through self-acceptance.
As I collaborated with A Course in Miracles, I could see that there was a terror of divine love in my mind. I understood this was the ego’s apprehension of losing itself. The ego is afraid of being revealed and being perceived as a puff of nothingness. That is the dread of intimacy. We speak about this fear in relationships, which is sometimes depicted as fear of sexual intimacy, but it is really a dread of dropping our persona, our mask of individuality. It is the terror of getting swept away by a splendid love, a love so strong that none of us can even imagine something as splendid and mighty!
For me, those are the big secrets, because it doesn’t start off with this great awareness. It always starts with feeling like you have done something wrong, whether you’ve masturbated, stolen something, malhandled an individual, or there is something in your mind that you have judged as so horrible that you don’t even want to meet it, you just want to overlook about it and push it out of awareness.
Underneath all those recollections and thoughts, is the belief that we are separated. This is the “secret” we hide. It really is an unfeasible belief, but we think that it is true; We have considered it as terrible and have pushed it out of awareness. All unconscious guilt comes from this belief in separation. And as you really give yourself over to the miracle, you feel all those hidden beliefs and secrets are being washed away and you finally face this hidden belief in division!
Please, share any thoughts and comments with me below, I’d adore to hear about your experience!
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